Friends don’t let friends buy junk. As it pertains to real estate, friends don’t let friends buy anything. In the past it was the parents with the “Ma and Pa Meddle” syndrome that impeded the youth from purchasing homes.
Understandably, parents wanted their children to have better living accommodations than they had been able to afford.
Consequently, parental viewings often evolved into full blown inspections with deficiencies being cited with no praise for anything. Deal slayers, those parents, for all the wrong reasons with all of the right intentions.
Now, the parents have raised the white flag, called “calf rope,’’ and have surrendered as they have no comprehension how their offspring that was raised in a 200 square foot bedroom in a 12,000 square foot house can exist in a one bedroom, one bath, and a 700 square foot space with walls that do not reach the ceilings. Correction, walls that do not reach the underbelly of the floors above them as the ceilings are not ceilings at all.
The exposed ductwork and the concrete floors with their industrial vibe baffle the suburbanites to the point of speechlessness. If we had only known this in the ‘70s. But, alas, there is a new player in the game and a more formidable foe than the kinfolk as the opinions of friends has always carried more weight than that of parents.
Yet in this game of real estate, neither the friend, nor the family has endured the search that the buyers have and when they are summoned for validation purposes, there is more vilification than anything. “Where will you put your piano?” Never mind that the piano is resting comfortably in a 10 foot by 12 foot room now and this house has a 13 foot by 14 foot room.
This is no time for interjection or debate by the Realtor. Reason cannot trump a 10-year friendship.
“Have you not see the house on Rainbow Place? It is gorgeous!” the friend asks.
The buyer looks at her agent curiously.
“That one sold yesterday,” the agent offers.
“Oh. That’s so sad. You would have loved that one,” the friend chides.
“Did you tell me about that one?” she asks.
“It only had two bedrooms and you need four,’’ the Realtor explains.
“But it had two other rooms that could have easily been converted to bedrooms and there was room for expansion in the back,” the expert pal asserts.
There is no need to argue at this point. The buyer will never admit it, but the friends will not visit the next house. And there will be a next house because there is no way that the person can purchase this home. It would cost her a friendship.
And men are worse as many think they are Frank Lloyd Wright reincarnate and are certainly well schooled in the art of construction, enough to know that this craftsmanship is lacking quality. The fifth band of the crown molding has a joint pulling away from the base.
And, you can set your watch by this one, “Joe, what’s that smell?”
“What smell?”
“That smell.”
“Oh, now I smell it.”
Code blue.
Sale of the Week
The home located at 3429 Benham Avenue sold last week for $852,000 shortly after Keller William’s Joe Hach listed the property for $859,000. Although spelled as if it should be pronounced “hatch,’’ the Hach family pronounces their name “hah,” and they own a property near Joelton that is a popular venue for corporate retreats, weddings, receptions and have christened the place Hachland Hills, an estate pronounced Holland, of course.
Well, Joe Hach himself is no laughing matter and is a most successful Realtor as is his adversary in this transaction, one Jane Jackson of Pilkerton Realtors. Jane delivered the buyer who garnered some 4,638 square feet in the heart of Green Hills for $852,000, or $183 per square foot.
Hach’s description answers the question before it was asked as he noted the “family is moving for a new job,” and adds, “Otherwise they would never leave this treasured home.” The “why are they moving” query is the most often heard inquiry in all of real estate. It is rarely answered that the people are moving because they absolutely detest living in this home.”
Of the 4,638 square feet, 1,234 are in the basement, but it houses the rec room and a guest bedroom. In addition to the basement, or lower level, bedroom, there are three others and a total of four and one half baths with the master – owner’s suite- down, or on the first floor. The upstairs area features a Hach Wood bathroom along with high ceilings.
Richard Courtney is a real estate broker with Christianson. Patterson, Courtney, and Associates and can be reached at [email protected].