Curiosity killed the cat. That’s what Grandma said when you were a nosy child, but you needed to learn about your world. Asking questions is what children – and savvy grown-ups – do.
Curiosity might have plagued Grandma’s cat, but a lack of it could do you harm, as you’ll see in “Seek” by Scott Shigeoka.
Scott Shigeoka’s friends worried about him. When he quit his job to travel around America for a year, they figured he’d be the target of all kinds of bad things. As a queer Asian American man, Shigeoka wasn’t searching for himself, and he surely wasn’t looking for trouble. No, he was looking for strangers, to see what we have in common with one another.
“I wanted to feel less scared and angry all the time,” he says,
Shigeoka’s interpretation of studies is that our general lack of curiosity about one another “is literally killing us.” With that in mind, he left his home and his job and headed out to small towns in the south, a reservation in Minnesota, a Trump rally and a retreat center with nuns and millennials. He squashed his inner negativity, bravely swallowed his reluctance, approached people and cultivated his curiosity by speaking with religious leaders, zealots and everyday folks. In doing so, he learned to D.I.V.E. into his outward curiosity.
• Detach, he says, and let go of “the ABCs”: assumptions, biases and certainty. Even if you think you’re against racism, homophobia or any other intolerance, you “still have unconscious biases that need to be... interrupted and challenged.”
• Learn to act with Intent. Know what questions to ask so that you can best learn about others and their thoughts.
“Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World”
By Scott Shigeoka
c.2023, Balance
$30
243 pages
• Show someone their Value by remembering that their political leaning, for instance, “is only one piece of a person’s life and personality.”
• Learn to Embrace what’s in front of you. This will “open the doors” to “more fulfillment and happiness to your life.”
Does it sometimes seem as though today’s world is filled with awkward moments? Like you want to communicate with people you meet, but the rules have changed? Or maybe you have and if that’s the case, then author Scott Shigeoka has a fix.
In “Seek,” he shows how one tiny action can open great big doors.
It seems kind of fun, actually: you meet someone new, show a gentle bit of interest and pay attention, ask a few open-ended questions and voila! New friend or client. New, healthy lines of communication. New or enhanced working relationship. Big yay.
While this book is very useful, easy to grasp and enthusiastic, Shigeoka has very little cautionary words to offer readers who might be too eager. Some of the ideas here, in the wrong hands, might be perceived as obnoxious or threatening. Understanding when to back off might also have been good advice.
Keep that in mind, know your target, open your heart and have fun. If your curiosity needs fluffing up, “Seek” may be the purrfect book for you.
Terri Schlichenmeyer’s reviews of business books are read in publications throughout the U.S. and Canada.