Republican legislators wasted no time getting down to business this session, putting on performative displays to demonize drag shows and criminalize medical treatments for transgender minors.
Never mind that drag shows are little more than comic diversions and that medical care ought to be determined by medical professionals and the patients/families involved.
What matters is that the culture war flames be fanned and the voting base gets its heaping helpings of red meat, since actual governing isn’t part of the tool kit for right-wingers.
Why address health care access when you can focus on reclaiming a street named to honor a civil rights hero and dedicate it instead to a president who incited an attack on the U.S. Capitol?
Maybe you’ve heard about that one. A bill would rename part of what is now known as Rep. John Lewis Way and christen it President Donald Trump Boulevard.
Take that, Nashville! And we’ll cut your woke Council in half, too!
I’ll have more on various legislative hijinks in the coming weeks. Meanwhile, I’ve waded through almost 2,000 bills and resolutions churned out by lawmakers, and among them are efforts to:
• Define the beginning of life as “the moment that an egg is fertilized in the womb.” I fully expect that, sooner or later, someone is going to introduce an “Every Sperm Is Sacred” resolution. (Hat tip, Monty Python.)
• Define sex for statutory purposes as “a person’s immutable biological sex as determined by anatomy and genetics existing at the time of birth.” Or, expressed in musical theater terms, “Guys and Dolls.”
• Allow a divorce court to “provide for the ownership or joint ownership of any pet or companion animal owned by the parties.” I had some pretty contentious divorce bickering in the past. But the cat in residence was never an issue. She stayed with me, as I’m sure she preferred.
• Amend the state constitution to allow the public to propose laws by initiative. A petition would require a number of signatures “equal to five percent (5%) of votes cast in the state for the office of governor at the last preceding gubernatorial election.” Could the public possibly do a worse job than the legislature?
• Prohibit any government entity from banning gas stoves, heaters or water heaters. Not until they pry our cold, dead hands from them.
• Standardize the length of time that traffic signals must display the yellow “Caution” signal light. Sounds to me like somebody got a ticket.
• Raise the speed limit “on controlled-access state and interstate highways with four or more lanes to 75 miles per hour, from 70 miles per hour.” (See above comment.)
• Decriminalize the possession of small amounts (1 ounce) of marijuana for those 18 and older and institute a $25 fine or three hours of community service, but no jail. You could file this one under “blowing smoke.”
• Empower the state to nullify federal laws. As I mentioned in a column last year about a similar effort, this sort of thing was pretty much dealt with in 1832 by a fellow named Andrew Jackson, who proclaimed “the power to annul a law of the United States, assumed by one State, incompatible with the existence of the Union, contradicted expressly by the letter of the Constitution, unauthorized by its spirit, inconsistent with every principle on which it was founded, and destructive of the great object for which it was formed.” But sure, let’s fight that battle again.
• Designate another official state motto (“Send Me”), two more official state songs (“Copperhead Road” and “The Tennessee in Me”) and an official pie (pumpkin). As I’ve noted before, we already have 10 official state songs. And yet legislators continue to ignore my plea to designate the banjo as our official state musical instrument. (And pecan pie is better.)
• Do away with Columbus Day. One measure would rename it Indigenous Peoples Day. A second would simply erase it, and instead add as a holiday the day after the Super Bowl. No name is suggested for that new holiday. But I suspect it would be known as Hangover Day.
• Change the designation of Juneteenth from a day of special observance to a legal holiday. I’d leave it as is.
• Honor Elliston Place Soda Shop – “a crown jewel in the meat-and-three restaurant legacy of Nashville” – on a “milestone occasion.” That milestone: 83 years. I love Elliston Place. But while a number of anniversaries might be considered a milestone – 50, 75, even 80, maybe – 83 ain’t one. Still, the resolution passed the House unanimously.
• Require candidates for constable to undergo and pass “a cognitive and psychological test ... to determine whether the candidate is mentally and cognitively fit to perform the duties of a constable.”
I humbly suggest that the bill shouldn’t be limited to candidates for constable. If you get my drift.
Joe Rogers is a former writer for The Tennessean and editor for The New York Times. He is retired and living in Nashville.