In a dystopian future era, applicable law dictates that if you are single after a certain age, you must take up residence in The Hotel for 45 days. If you don’t fall in love with someone in that time period, you will be transformed into the beast of your choice and released into the wild.

There are further stipulations: You must find someone with whom you have at least one thing in common. Basing a relationship on a lie is a cardinal offense. If a couple, after coming together, encounters problems they cannot solve on their own, they are “assigned children,” as “that usually helps.” And on and on.

That’s where recently-divorced David (played by Irish actor Colin Farrell) finds himself in “The Lobster.”

David believes lobsters live for 100 years, remain fertile throughout their life and are blue-blooded, like aristocrats. Plus, he’s always enjoyed swimming in the ocean.

“An excellent choice,” says the Hotel manager (played by English actress Olivia Colman). She disparages the option that most people go for – dogs. David, as it happens, is checking in with his brother, who was turned into a dog some years earlier.

Thus begins this dark, LOL European indie directed by Greek cowriter Yorgos Lanthimos. Well, I was laughing out loud. The other 19 people in the auditorium, not so much.

I wish there’d been 250 Brits in the theater with us to validate my sense of humor and prove to those other nerds just how funny some of the lines really are.

Admittedly, the wit tends toward the dry. But more like a good martini, I’d say, than chapped lips.

Consider that David’s 45 days are running out when he decides to have a go at forming a relationship with “Heartless Woman,” David being anything but heartless. (Are you laughing yet?)

On the film festival circuit, this flick has garnered lots of awards: Best Film at Ghent; Best Director at Miami; and, at Cannes, not only a Jury Prize, but also the coveted Palm Dog Award.

Allegorically satirizing the rules that govern dating and mating via a Kafkaesque bureaucratic enforcement system, “The Lobster” also features a group of rebellious Loners – singles who resist the above referenced law.

Among these is a character played by the delightful and talented (and British) Rachel Weisz. How she and David encounter one another I cannot reveal. But they are both short-sighted (that’s British for near-sighted).

Hotel residents are regularly taken out Loner-hunting. Shooting a Loner with a tranquilizer dart earns you an additional day to pursue romance and avoid beasthood. I will volunteer that David does not shoot Weisz’s character, who is known in the credits only as “Short-Sighted Woman.” (Yes, the other I mentioned above is listed as “Heartless Woman.” It’s an allegory, okay? They don’t have to have names.)

I’m pretty sure that, ultimately, I’ll say that I liked “The Lobster” a lot (check this column’s last paragraph). Right now, though, I’ve yet to see the final half hour.

I won’t name the theater that I was in last night when a bizarre power surge at the 90-minute mark zapped the video. The result was a “Readmission Pass.” Gonna catch those last 30 minutes later today.

During the 15 minutes of rebooting that did not fix the technical difficulties last night, Susan Googled the film. “Ninety percent positive on Rotten Tomatoes,” she said. “But only 69 percent from the audience.”

I told her that David Laprad had given it 3 1/2 stars out of 4 and called it “a compelling essay on the nature of human relationships.” That’s enough for me to finish watching the film.

Yeah, I liked it. But, really, try to see it with 250 Europeans.

Vic Fleming is a district court judge in Little Rock, Ark., where he also teaches at the William H. Bowen School of Law. Contact him at [email protected].