Clichés exist because the same occurrences repeat themselves ad infinitum and have for years. In real estate, three overused expressions have regained prominence in this market that baffles buyers and sellers alike. They both apply to the same scenario.

They are “don’t look at a gift horse in the mouth” and “you only get one shot at the big time.” Finally, “a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.” It is understandable that most savvy buyers have a basic understanding of the market and know it is soft and fragile. They feel there are deals to be had -- and there are. They want to pound sellers faces in the sand and, the fact is, they can.

Negotiations are now similar to boxing matches, Rocky Balboa-type fights in which both contestants flail away at each other until the other drops to the canvas, out cold.

At that point the seller has won and should raise his hands and accept the title belt. Instead, they want to continue to kick, spit, pounce upon and mutilate the opponent. The goal of a boxing match is to win, not to kill the opponent. To figuratively murder an opponent in a real estate deal is not illegal, but unlikely. Sellers know they will live to fight another day.

Unfortunately, this aggressive attitude is costing well-meaning bargain hunters great deals. In example after example, buying couples haggle with a seller to buy a house for some times 30-40 percent less than the original list price. That can be as much as $500,000.

Even after beating the seller into a pulp, buyers sometimes are unable to obtain financing. In many cases, the buyers haven’t attempted financing and are unaware of the recent changes in the regulation requiring more scrutiny and, more importantly, more cash. So they can’t get the loan. The house goes back on the market.

Now, let’s examine the psyche of the seller. At one point they thought they would receive $500,000 more than the contract. That’s alotta dough. Then there’s the psychological angle. The home that they had crafted and loved and lived in and raised their family in was not being appreciated by the market. So there are emotional and economic issues eating at their souls.

Then along comes another buyer. The seller’s agent, with permission from the seller – who at this point simply wants out – says the seller had agreed to an amount substantially less than the list price. The buyer makes an even lower offer.

They sellers counter with the other price. The buyer demands a lower price. The seller rejects the offer. The buyer cannot understand why.

Suddenly, the smelling salts work and the first buyer has regained financial consciousness. He can now pay almost as much as the $450,000 less. The sellers decide they would like to deal with him since he is paying as much as he possibly can while several other buyers who had floated offers could have paid more but chose not to. Buyers call that being frugal, financially sound, etc., while sellers view the same action as greedy. The sellers take the other offer.

Often, the frugal buyers reappear and want the house. After surveying the market, they realize it was a great deal after all. They’ll take it. Too bad, it’s sold. They’ll pay even more than the current buyers. In these cases, sadly for the baffled buyers, they missed their chance.

Even in a down market, the seller has the keys to the kingdom.

Richard Courtney is a real estate broker with Pilkerton Realtors and the author of Come Together: The Business Wisdom of the Beatles and can be reached at [email protected]