A tectonic shift has been underway for the last couple of decades in the ways Tennessee families say farewell to deceased loved ones. In just about a generation, many families have moved from traditional casket interment to cremation, natural burial and other rituals around the final farewell and resting place.

While your great-grandparents – and even grandparents – might have been buried in a family plot or individual grave in a cemetery, there are now many more ways to rest in peace, though nearly all – even the simplest – will cost thousands of dollars (see “Going home: The cost of a peaceful rest,” page 9).

The pomp and gravity of a formal traditional service are undeniable. The classic example is the funeral scene from “The Godfather” – an ornate polished wooden casket heaped with flowers is carried by a stately black hearse with the classic landau bars.

Many families are choosing a less-traditional final resting place, one that accommodates cremated remains and allows for family and friends to visit and remember.

-- Photos By Michelle Morrow |The Ledger

But as preferences and priorities have shifted over a generation, so have options for bidding farewell to the deceased, including cremation and natural burial, plus a new modality on the horizon.

Rising funeral costs and dwindling church affiliation are cited as driving cremation rates to overtake burial numbers over the last generation. In 1990, the cremation rate nationally was less than 10%. By 2015, more families chose cremation than burial for the first time.

The Cremation Society of North America counted the cremation rate at almost 49%, while the National Funeral Directors Association estimated burial rates at about 45%. Moving to 2023, the cremation rate nationally was projected to be 60.5% versus 34.5% burial.

Still a place for remembrance

Many area cemeteries now include resting places for ashes, including Woodlawn on Thompson Lane, one of Nashville’s largest cemeteries with more than 50,000 memorials.

Cemeteries and churches are adapting to increasing demand for columbarium space.

Locally, several of Nashville’s Christian churches have columbariums, a section of the church set aside for storing ashes of the dead. The word “columbarium” was taken from the Latin word for the compartments/niches used for housing pigeons and doves.

Belmont United Methodist senior associate pastor Heather Harriss says the church began its conversation about making space for cremated remains about 20 years ago.

“Folks were more tending to be cremated and (our congregation) wanted a place for the remains of loved ones that was easy to visit,” Harriss says. “So we started to talk about the possibility of a columbarium and there was a lot of interest.

“People wanted to see the names of other church members they cared deeply about. People liked the idea (of a columbarium).”

The congregation set about raising money for it and the Belmont Methodist columbarium was built in the last five years as “a special meditative, prayerful place” of 100 niches. Ten are filled, and many others are reserved.

“Even when we built this, we had plans for another larger one,” Harriss adds. It’s just the sense of community, and being able to visit. And just to know you’ll be remembered.”

At St. George’s Episcopal, the 896-space columbarium was established around 2000 is already 80% “spoken for,” a representative for the church says. Thirty-three percent of the spaces contain urns, and another 47% are reserved.

About 25 years after the space was consecrated, just 178 spaces are open for use. The church sells about 20 spots per year and is formulating a plan for more spaces when the all of the current spaces are encumbered.

First Presbyterian Church recorded a number of deaths in January – three in a single week, and two each week for the other weeks of January. Of those, all but one was cremated and interred in the church’s columbarium, a church representative says. The deaths included people in their 90s who likely would have cremation decades ago.

Green burials growing

In a return to an ancient practice, some people are opting for “green” burials. These burials do not involve embalming or a casket – not even a headstone or cardboard box.

At Larkspur Conservation, a 161-acre natural burial ground in Sumner County, bodies are buried directly in the earth and become part of the earth. John Christian Pfifer, the director at Larkspur, is a licensed funeral director and embalmer who previously worked in the traditional funeral industry.

Once people hear about natural burial, Pfifer says, they feel like they have “some type of agency over how their end will be, rather than letting someone else write the end of the book.”

Larkspur looks more like a park than a cemetery.

“At Larkspur, you can come and commune with nature, as if you were at Radnor Lake or the Warner Parks,” Pfifer explains. “The space will be protected forever. All the earthly goodness in your body goes back to the earth. It creates a carbon sink that, year after year, pulls carbon out of the atmosphere. So it’s not just that [green burial] is more cost effective.”

Pfifer predicts that green burial will become “the new normal.”

“For the longest time, people had only the option of casket and embalming and the backhoe. Or cremation and columbarium. I’ve had people come out of the woodwork with ashes” that had been kept at home, he says, “sometimes for years.”

Pfifer cites a nationwide study in which 60-70% of respondents wanted to learn more about natural burial once and might prefer it over traditional funeral and burial practices once they learned it is an option.

“The way I serve families at Larkspur, they leave having experienced something transformational in life, whether they believe in God or in life as an amazing gift. They have a transformational experience,” Pfifer says, noting Larkspur offers the services of a “grief doula.”

“A lot of it is to do with how we bring nature into the room with us and allow nature to guide us through something that is not actually out of the ordinary. It’s a human life event that should be celebrated like the birth of a child. It’s a door at the other end of life.”

New tech for old process

The most recent addition to burial options in Tennessee is aquamation, or “water burial” approved by the state in 2013 (Tenn. Code § 62-5-801), although no Midstate funeral services provider offers it yet.

The process uses water, heat and alkaline chemicals to break down the soft tissues of the body. The bones remain and can be returned to the family.

Aquamation is an option in places where burial space has become scarce and expensive. Medical schools have used the process for donated cadavers.

Resomation, a UK-based firm, reports the process uses one-fifth the energy of fire and reduces a funeral’s emission of greenhouse gasses by about a third. Bishop Desmond Tutu may be the best-known individual to be “water cremated.”

And one final thought about final resting places: A vanishingly small percentage of Tennesseeans’ remains – around 100 people each year – go to the University of Tennessee Forensic Anthropology Center. The center is home to “the body farm,” where some choose to donate their bodies and others are unidentified corpses.

Donated remains are placed in various specific settings and positions, such as a shallow grave or a trash can. They’re studied over time to assess a variety of factors. The results provide valuable data for both medical examiners and law enforcement. Skeletal remains of donated bodies are archived at the center’s collection for reference and study.

As the old state slogan said, “It’s great to be alive and be in Tennessee.” But it’s also not a bad place to be at eternal rest.